Friday, September 4, 2015

Adventure 1: Alert! Alert! Alert!

Alert! Alert! Alert!
Crazy things happened today! I'm currently sitting in an internet cafe, I simply couldn't wait until I got home to tell you cutie-pies this marvelous, merry message!
So, this morning, I was admittedly very grumpy. Today is a particularly action-packed day for my wonderful little town. Not ONLY was there a Lunar Eclipse at 1:03 this morning (which I sadly missed because I was talking to my adorable little Flim Flam ;^; ), but there was also a fundraiser for the little dead girl displaying local bands and there was even a dog festival at the dog park next to the lake.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Hemmy-Hemson, why on earth would you be grumpy on a exciting day like that?!"
Oh, it must seem strange I realize, but in all honesty, everything I dislike had decided to congregate in my town on that very morning! You see, I've never been much fond of music, in all truthfulness, the only type of music I find tolerable is Swing and only because I can easily dance to it. So, you must be able to imagine how I would feel about local, amateur artists performing at full volume from 10:00 in the morning to 2:00 at night.
I had to escape the horrible noise that was emanating from my balcony window. Therefore, I decided to have another little adventure, it had been three days since finding that corpse at the lake and I was raring to find more. So, off to the lake I went, skipping down Baker St. in my eagerness for more thrills and chills!
But, that was when I encountered yet another thing that I've never been fond of. Upon reaching the field near the edge of the lake, my ears were assaulted with a chorus of barks and yips that nearly made me shriek in terror (alright, so maybe a bit more than NEARLY) and run for cover. I finally noticed the abundance of people surrounding me. Now, this would not normally bother me as I consider myself a rather gregarious person, but these were not normal people milling about the grassy field before me. These people were armed to the nines with the slobbering, growling, 'domesticated' creatures that people commonly refer to as dogs.
For fear of my life I hid, jumping into a nearby bush hoping it would cover me enough to leave me inconspicuous. Looking back on it now, I must have looked rather silly, a 6"4, 187 lb, middle-aged man crouched inside some bushes. Luckily people's attention were elsewhere.
Now, my day may not have started particularly well, but it certainly ended with a 'Bang!' or perhaps I should say a 'Crackle!' that's essentially what burning flesh and bones sounds like; a series of pops and crackles.
"Now what is our silly Hemson talking about now?" you're most certainly thinking. "He couldn't have possibly encountered something as exciting as a man being burned alive on only his second adventure in this town! The idea is preposterous!"
The idea is indeed preposterous, my sweet readers of little faith, but that is exactly what happened! I must say that the balloon man being lit aflame was actually my saving grace (Haha! Isn't that a hilarious sentence?!) as it forced all the people and their heinous little pets to vacate the premises and allowed me the chance to escape my bush. After that I continued my journey to the lake, but not before snapping a quick photo of our fleeing arson for a little bit of fun if I ever happen to encounter him later. (Though as I said in my last post, if you'd like a little EXTRA info I'd be willing to exchange for some info of equal value ;D)
The lake wasn't as interesting as I'd hoped and it certainly wasn't as interesting as seeing a balloon man burned alive. The only person there in fact was a young lady who was walking along the edge of the shore, red eyes surveying the waves as she whispered something continuously under her breath.
I approached her to tell her that the dog park would most probably be blocked off for the rest of the day. To be truthful, I was kinda hoping she would inquire as to why so I could tell her all about the super awesome thing I'd just witnessed. But, she did no such thing simply nodding with a slightly annoyed expression. Hah, youngsters are so angsty these days!
After leaving the lake I made a beeline to where I am now, to type up this super duper story for all of lovelies. This town just keeps getting better and better don't you think?! First a drowning and now a burning. I simply can't wait to be fully encompassed in the humming adventure that makes this place so beautiful. So, hasta la vista, babies!
Until my next adventure!